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The name's Maegan. My three (main) best friends are Amber, Nicole, and Nick. I can trust them with anything. My heart's taken by Price Alan Pollard as of November 17, 2008. I'm single, but broken. Not worth fixing. I have brown hair, and blue eyes. I never wear contacts, sticking with my glasses. I'm not a ''fake''. I circle through waves of happiness and depression faster than you can spell the word "cat." I can't understand anything in life, its just one random event after the next, seemingly making a pattern. I'm a liar, a bitch, and a thief. I contradict myself, I can be shallow, I'm confusing. But most of all I am me. I enjoy the simple things in life. Quite a lot, actually. I'm not vein, I'm not conceited, and my confidence level is so far low that you drive over it every day with your hot-headed douchebag comments. I hate people. I love people. I'm a paradox, a being full of questions but hardly ever any answers.I swear. I'm not sraight-edge. I don't know if I believe in God. But, I'm a nice person, and shouldn't that be all that matters? I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I've hardly thrown a punch in my life. I'm weak, mentally and physically. Most of my friends are boys. I love music. Completely obsessed. I dress how I feel. Nothing special. I'm ME. Most people don't like me, Most people don't know me. If it doesn't seem as though I like you at first, I probably haven't formed an opinion yet. If it doesn't seem as though I like you after a while, I probably don't. I'm not going to suggest that I'm the kindest girl that you will meet because I'm not. I try though. I honestly do try. I constantly over-think situations as well as concepts. It's not one of my satisfactory traits. My outlook about most things isn't too spectacular. I'm particularly pessimistic most of the time and I don't really mind it. It's just not worth it to let people (or life in general, for that matter) continue to disappoint me. I'm not the same person that I used to be. I'm mostly honest, trustworthy and sometimes sensible. I live by my own regulations.
Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect him to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect him to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it. Love isn't him calming you down when you yell. It's him yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable. It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet him showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not him saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it's not him caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It's him standing there, admitting he's just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it. It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole.
To all my loves♥
Courtasaur;;Courntee♥
Stole;;Andi♥
Splat;;Brett♥
iDisturbDream;;Jess♥
iPizzaZombie;;Steph♥
1. I like your homepage, did you make it?
Answer: No but thank you, DechuAnge did. She's did a fantastic job(:
Answer: No.
3.Can I add you?
Answer: Go for it.
4.How come I'm not on your friends list?
Answer: You're not Important(:
Want to know more? Talk to me.
